The Pain of Mating
by daughterofartemis86
Summary: Mating isn't always easy. It isn't always simple. Sometimes it is complicated. Sometimes there is hate and anger as well as love and need.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok so this is my first attempt at fanfiction so please be kind! In this story the whole mating process is a bit AU. In my world mating for a vampire is instant like imprinting and very powerful. The males are extremely possessive and protective of their mates and the instinct to claim, love and worship is overwhelming. A soul-deep connection binds and pulls them together. If a vampire mates with another vampire then things are fine, the female understands instinctively and there are no problems. But if a vampire mates with a human then it is a different story altogether. He cannot change her immediately as the bond needs time to strengthen and grow but he can't not be without her as his need to possess and claim is too strong. Furthermore he would want to slaughter everyone around her as his jealousy would overtake. In this story Jasper mates with a human Bella Swan and his only option is to kidnap her and fake her death. This story is about how they cope with what has happened. **

**Disclaimer – I own nothing of the twilight world. I am merely borrowing them. **

Chapter One: Hated Beginnings

Jasper POV

It was done. Isabella Swan no longer existed. She died in a car accident when her truck popped a wheel and collided into a tree. She died instantly and was buried this morning by her foster parents next to her father who had been buried only two weeks previously.

I looked down at the beauty on the bed and tried to push my emotions down so that I didn't accidentally infect her with them. She was beautiful, perfection. Long, luxurious waves of chestnut and mahogany brown hair fell down to her waist, long black eye lashes framed eyes which I knew to be the deepest chocolate brown and her lips well full and pouty, the softest pink and begging to be kissed. Her stature was slight, she stood at only five feet four, a full foot shorter than me and while she was slim she was also blessed with soft full curves that I desperately wanted to touch and caress. She was everything I ever wanted. My mate. My reason for being and I knew that she would hate me. She was Isabella Cullen now. As much as I wanted her to take my name I didn't dare give her it as her new identity, I wanted her to consent to be my wife and take my name, although at the moment I doubted she would. I glanced down at my sleeping, human mate and once again felt self-loathing fill me. To kidnap her, take her and fake her death was the only option we could think of that wouldn't lead to all our deaths but I knew that she would in all likelihood not see it like that. I had taken away her freedom, her choice. She is my mate and I had to have her with me and while there are many reasons – good reasons – as to why we did what we did it doesn't change the fact that none of us asked Isabella what she wanted. In fact none of us have ever even spoken to her, never even been introduced and she would hate me, hate us all.

"You are going to have to let her wake up eventually Jazz" Alice said to me, trying to smile supportively. I looked down at the little pixie and I knew she was right. I had been keeping Isabella in a permanent state of lethargy and sleepiness for three days, I would let her wake up just enough to go to the bathroom or have some soup and then sent her back to sleep. It was wrong and yet another reason for her to hate me but firstly I needed to keep her quite and subdued until I could get her moved and secondly – as cowardly – as it seemed, I didn't want to look into her beautiful eyes and see her hatred, anger and fear just yet.

"She's right Major, you need to let your mate wake up and meet you properly" my brother Peter told me in an uncharacteristically serious voice. He and his wife and mate Charlotte had left their home in Texas to join us for awhile and they were both as concerned and worried for me and my mate as the Cullen's were. Finally after another hour I sighed and straightened my shoulders and slowly as the whole family stood and watched I drew my mate out of her sleep. Her eyes opened fully and consciously and for this first time she gazed at me with eyes full of awareness.

Edward POV

I have never heard so many minds full of self-loathing and self-hatred. But then my family has never hated ourselves and what we are as much as we do now. We are all sitting in the living room in silence, misery pouring out of us as we listen to Isabella weep and sob upstairs. Her anger, sorrow and hatred knows no bounds. We had little trouble convincing her of what we were – turns out that those damned wolves were friends of hers and she had heard the stories as a small child. That combined with a small display of our gifts and powers was enough to convince her that we are indeed gifted vampires. No, our trouble lies in the fact that as predicted and feared she hates us. We explained it all, including how the mating works and how we had to fake her death and how for a variety of reasons she was stuck with us, trapped and imprisoned is how she described it. Yet it still took over three hours before she truly understood that we couldn't let her go, couldn't let her leave and now she knows I don't think she will ever forgive us. Suddenly we hear her move and we all look upwards and wait on the proverbial edge of our seats as we listen to her slowly come down the stairs. She stands in the doorway looking very fragile, eyes red from crying. She looks at us all individually for a moment. Her eyes come to me first taking me in and my beautiful pixie mate who sits uncharacteristically still and sombre next to me, then her eyes flicker to Emmett and Rosalie who stand side by side, then onto Peter and Charlotte – the latter sitting on the formers lap, then onto Carlisle and Esme who sit on the love-seat together and finally the briefly rest on Jasper who stands in front of the fire looking utterly devastated. Finally she speaks,

"If I ask a question, will you all answer honestly?" her voice is low and raw from crying and we all rush to assure that we will indeed answer her honestly, Carlisle, waves his hand for quiet

"I assure you Isabella that there will be no secrets from you and we will all answer any questions you have as honestly and openly as we can" He speaks calmly, repeating what we as a family had agreed upon while she was asleep. She nods, seeming to believe us. Then she asks her question.

"Were you all in agreement?" none of us need to ask her to clarify, she wants to know if we all agree with the decision to take her, to fake her death and to keep her here. And as I look at the faces of my family I don't need my gift to know what they are thinking – oh shit. She is going to hate us all individually now as well as collectively and we all know it. Peter seems to decide to be the brave first one and stands up and steps forward. Isabella takes a step backwards and Peter brings his hands up in peace. He waits a second and when she nods, he speaks

Peter POV

I know she will hate me. I can feel it. But my gift also tells me that it is vital that we are all honest with her. She will certainly never forgive us if we lie to her on top of everything else we have already done and so with that in mind, and maintaining eye contact with the beautiful human that is my brothers entire world I speak,

"I would never wish you any harm little bird and I know that we have hurt you deeply with our actions and for that I am so sorry but yes I was in agreement with taking you. You belong with Jasper little bird, you are his mate, his other half and this was the only way we could keep everyone safe and together. Its insane I know but Jasper is my brother, I desperately want to seem him happy and your his mate, he needs you to be at his side and so you had to be with us, nothing could stand in the way of that." She raises an eyebrow,

"Not even my free will? Not even what I might want?" I don't answer, there is nothing I can say. Finally she nods.

"Thank you for being honest with me Peter. But please never call me little bird or any other nickname ever again. You don't know me and we are not friends or family so please drop the nicknames" She speaks clearly and coldly and it hurts, I have to admit. When I realised that Jasper would find his mate I was hoping she would be my little sister but it seems this may never happen. I tense as I feel Char stand and take my hand,

Charlotte POV

I feel Peter tense as I stand next to him. I can tell he is worried that I may be angry towards Isabella for her coldness towards him, mates are after all fiercely protective but I'm not. While I wish it wasn't the case I understand her position and can't fault her for it, I squeeze my mates hand reassuringly and feel him relax before I speak,

"I feel the same as Peter, I was in agreement but I hope you can let me get to know you at some point in the future because I would truly love to be friends" she nods at me but the coldness in her eyes doesn't change. Alice and Edward stand next.

Edward POV

I decide quickly what to say and go for it,

"While I worried about the effects I was totally in agreement but am deeply sorry for your pain" she nods and looks at my mate who already looks like she is going to sob and I pray that Isabella isn't harsh with Alice who has been hoping so intensely to be friends with Isabella.

Alice POV

Like Edward, my gift does not appear to work on Isabella, or at least not very well and so I don't know how she will take what I have to say,

"I agreed but I really do think you could be happy with Jasper and with us. Mates love each other so much and you could have such wonderful relationships with us all" she looks at me with such anger I feel my heart ache in sadness,

"Yes but people in wonderful relationships usually choose to be in them Alice – a luxury I have not had" I can't argue a point but I start to grieve the friendship I see slipping away from me. Esme comes to stand next to me her hand on my shoulder as Carlisle speaks next.

"I was in agreement as well and I am sorry for the pain caused to you my dear" She nods to him and her reaction is the same when Emmett simply repeats the statement sadly, having decided after her reaction to me and Peter not to try and convince her that he meant no harm and wants her as his baby sister. Esme however quickly makes the decision to reach out to Isabella and my heart clenches in worry.

Esme POV

I can see the sadness in my family and am desperate to ease it. I look towards Isabella whose anger radiates around her and try to say something, anything that may ease her anger and hatred

"I was in agreement and understand you anger and hatred towards us but would like to beg you to try and see that none us have meant anything maliciously. We truly didn't see any other way out and want nothing more than you happiness" her anger flares wildly in her eyes for a moment but then surprisingly softens, she nods at me and the turns to look at Rosalie, the last member of the family to give her opinion. We all instinctively know that Jasper will not be saying anything because his opinion is obvious, she is his mate.

Rosalie POV

I step forward much more than the others until I am only three feet away from Isabella and look right at her. Her fear is spiked but she is a brave little thing and maintains my glance. I take an unnecessary breath before I say my piece.

"Before I give my answer Isabella, I need to say something else, is that ok?' I ask, trying to show her that I respect her and what she says, she nods and I continue 'I love my family, I love them fiercely and desperately and so will always, always protect and support them. No matter what. Can you understand that?" I ask

"Yes, of course" she answers surprising everyone by engaging with me

"Good because I need you to know that whilst I will always support my family and help them, always support and help Jasper that does not mean that I necessarily agree with them all the time. In this case I did not agree. I understand the mating call certainly and the need to have you mate with you but as a woman who had her free will taken away from them, as a woman who never wanted this life but who later through finding her mate came to love and accept it, I did not agree with taking you the way we did. I did not agree with faking your death and making dozens of decisions about you and your life without consulting you and I am sorry for that. But I hope you can understand that whilst I didn't and don't agree with what has been done to you I have to support my family and try to help everyone including yourself cope with the situation we are now in." Everyone around me is silent. They all knew that I did not approve – I said so repeatedly – but none of them expected me to be as open with Isabella as I have been. I can't quite explain but I feel the need to help and befriend her. I know she will not allow any of the others to help her or be close to her – not yet anyway but I am hoping she may let me, at least a little. She looks at me and there is no anger and my relief is immediate,

"Thank you Rosalie, truly and I do understand." she gives me a small smile and then without looking at anyone else, turns and returns to her bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer – I own nothing of the Twilight world. I am merely borrowing them. **

Chapter Two: Small Olive Branches

Bella POV

I return to the bedroom which the vampires had told me was mine and curl up on the window seat and look out of the window, staring at the woods. I have never felt so alone and so angry in all my life. I can't believe the situation I am in. It feels like a nightmare yet its not. Its real. I have no life. I am trapped in this house in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of vampires, one of whom believes I am his mate. I know he is right. I am his mate, I can feel a distant pull towards him but that is all. No lust, no love, no passion, no desire, no affection, hell I don't even like him. All I feel is anger and hatred towards all of them, well except Rosalie. She, I can understand. She didn't try to stop them – although I don't know if she would have been able to even she had tried – but I know she was telling me the truth and I can just tell that she had probably at least vocalised her disagreement and that somehow endears her to me. She wont release me, hell where would I go even if she did? I don't even exist anymore! Plus I know that if I ran, they would drag me back, they made that clear. But at least I know there is one vampire in this house that sees me as a person and more than just Jasper's mate, his possession.

Over the next four days I barely move. I ignore everyone. Esme pops her head in from time to time with food and I just nod and ignore her until she goes away. The rest come in from time to time as well – except Jasper. They all come in and talk me and try and get me to open up or bond or accept but I just stare at them until they go away and eventually they all do. Jasper is always close. He doesn't come in my room or talk to me but I know he is close, monitoring, waiting, watching. I can feel him.

Its been five days now since I woke and I know I cannot go on like this. I don't know how I am ever going to survive, let alone be happy but I know I have to try and live. I don't have any options – I can't escape, I can't fight them and I can't kill myself because one of them would get to me before I succeeded and then they would never leave my side and I'd be even more miserable than before. So I have to try and live. But how? The idea of just giving in and being Jasper's mate makes me feel sick. As does the idea of playing happy families with the rest of the blood suckers. So where to start? How to begin my new life? I stand up from the window seat and look around me. The room is large with an en-suite bathroom. The walls are white and it has large wrought iron bed, and white wooden furniture; a dressing table with mirror and stool, a desk and black leather office chair, a chest of drawers, a bed side table and four tall floor to ceiling bookcases. Everything is empty. I have nothing. I have been wearing clothing that Alice put in my room – its slightly large so I think its probably Roses'. As I look around my room, for the first time I feel something other anger, hatred and sadness. I feel longing. I wish I had my things; I wish I had my own clothes and my mementos. I wish I had books and a laptop and just anything to make me feel comfortable. I sit and think. I know that family is important to these vampires and a small part of me is sorry for the fact that they are sad because of me. If I really can never leave or escape then I am going to be around them for a very long time; forever perhaps if Jasper has his way. I am going to have to try and have relationships with them all. But how do I get past my pain? The answer comes to me in my fathers voice _"slow and steady Bells, just take it slow and steady"_, is what he always use to say. I miss my daddy so much and quickly I realise that he would have wanted me to live and be happy and I owe it to him to at least try. So, I'm going to do what he always use to advise. Slow and steady. I will approach each vamp individually and ask them for something small, or ask their help in something. Small, steady steps. Small olive branches.

Rosalie POV

The house is beyond depressing. Everyone's heart is breaking. I honestly don't know how much more any of us can take. Suddenly I hear Bella's door open and I hear her take one step out.

"Rosalie? Can I speak to you please?" I am surprised and quickly exchange shocked glances with Emmett, Peter and Carlisle, who are sitting in the living room with me. Quickly I answer,

"Coming Bella" and run up the stairs, fast but not too fast so I don't scare Bella. Bella is standing in her doorway and is trembling slightly,

"Bella? Are you ok?" I ask gently. Bella raises her head to look up at me and then briefly closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. The trembling steadies slightly. She is preparing herself for something, she is nervous but trying to be brave I realise and this makes me respect her even more.

"Yes I think so anyway' her voice is a little shaky 'I was hoping that you would do a favour for me?" she asks quietly in a whisper, I am surprised but eagerly reply,

"Anything" I promise

"Well, there are some things that I need to do and I'm a little nervous and scared even though I know I need to do them. So I was hoping you could stay with me the whole time and support me?" I can't help but raise an eyebrow in surprise and she rushes to explain

"Its just, I feel more comfortable around you than the others and I really could do with someone I can lean on so to speak and I hoped you might be willing?" Her eyes tell me she is worried I will refuse, she couldn't be more wrong. I don't know what she needs to do but have a feeling that whatever it is very important and by the fact the whole family have now gone silent and are tensed and ready – although Bella can't hear this – I think they know that whatever Bella has decided to do could affect us all as well.

"I'll happily help you Bella. I'm honoured you asked. I won't leave your side until you tell me to and if you need anything just ask". She breathes a sigh of relief at my words

"Thank you"

"So what first?" I ask.

"I need to see Alice" she responds. I'm surprised but nod.

"She's in her room, I'll take you" I lead her and after knocking and Alice's quick and eager 'come in' we enter. I watch as Bella quickly takes in the room and exchange a puzzled look with Alice when we notice that Bella takes in all of Alice's clothes and accessories and smiles a small smug smile before letting out another sigh of relief. I along with the rest of the house wait curious for Bella to say whatever she needs to say,

"Alice, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was hoping I could ask you for a small favour" her words are scared and unsure but determined at the same time. Alice for a second looks ready to bounce and rush towards but I catch her eye and shake my head, mouthing 'take it easy' at her. I think I have caught on to what Bella intends to do. She is going to try and connect with us. She doesn't want to but she's decided to try and that's incredible but we are going to have to take it slow. Bella has taken the brave first step and I am determined to help her in any way I can. I hear Edward murmur 'I think you right Rose' having read my thoughts and he quickly says my theory aloud. Everyone agrees that it makes sense and I can practically feel their excitement. Each wondering what Bella's gesture to them might be. Alice nods at me understanding what I said to take it easy and a lot calmer than normal she tells Bella that she can ask her anything, Bella takes a deep breath

"Well, I have been wearing borrowed clothing and as must as I appreciate it, erm... it would be nice to have some clothes of my own.' Smart Bella, I think. She is trying to connect with Alice on her level 'So I was hoping that you might be willing to get me some new clothes because I remember someone saying that you loved clothes and shopping so maybe you could help me?" she really struggles asking for things, I can hear it in her voice. She is independent and hates asking for things but it clearly willing to do something she hates to try and make life better. Brave little human. Again I hear Edward repeating my thoughts and everyone agreeing. Alice' s face is full of happiness at Bella's gesture and hope

"I would love to Bella. Is there anything in particular you would like?" This is new, Alice usually just picks what she thinks we should wear but I think this is her way of trying to connect with Bella

"Not really, I need everything or just basics I guess to start? Although I've never really been a skirt and heels kind of a girl, I like comfort."

"Ok no problem, favourite colour?" Alice asks trying to keep the conversation going,

"Erm, blue, brown or green I suppose" Bella is looking even more uncomfortable more, I think it might be time to move on, I step forward and place myself closer to Bella, she looks at me and smiles slightly. Alice gets another question in,

"Any favourite brands?" somehow this gets a surprised chuckle from Bella and me and Alice exchange a happy smile,

"I use to really love converse" Bella smiles, Alice nods,

"No problem" Bella nods and then looks at me pleadingly

"Shall we move on?" I ask, giving her the out she needs,

"Yes, we should. Thanks Alice" she gives Alice a shaky smile before quickly exiting the room. I follow her and find her leaning against the hallway wall with her eyes closed.

"You've guessed what I'm trying to do haven't you?" she asks without opening her eyes,

"Yes" I say, she opens her eyes and looks at me with a face that is clearly begging for help,

"Who should I do next?" She asks I quickly think through the family and try to think who would will be the easiest for her,

"How about Carlisle?" I ask, she looks distant, clearly thinking for a second and then nods

"Yes, perfect." I hear him move into his office, obviously wanted to give her the chance to speak to him on his own, not overwhelm her with lots of other family members.

We go downstairs and I direct her to his office. Bella looks a lot more confident and comfortable this time around and I wonder why. She knock and when she hears his welcome she walks in,

"Rosalie, Bella, what can I do for you?"

"I was hoping I could ask you something Dr Cullen"

"Of course Bella, anything and please feel free to call me Carlisle if you wish"

"Thank you, well I actually need some medical help" At this I hear a growl and Peter and Emmett holding Jasper back who is desperate to crash in her and protect is his mate who he now thinks is ill in some way, I have to admit I too am now concerned.

Carlisle POV

I know my son is beside himself and I can feel the concern of the rest of the family, all wondering why Bella may need Medical help.

"Of course Bella what can I help you with?"

"Well, when I was taken, I mean when I came to live here" I see Rosalie cringe when Bella says she was taken and while I know the phrase is accurate I appreciate her effort to re-word it

"I understand what you mean Bella" I rush to reassure the stuttering girl

"Well when I came here I didn't bring any of my medications with me and I know I should have mentioned it sooner but I really do need them" I exchange a worried glance with Rosalie and notice that she steps forward and places a comforting hand of Bella's shoulder

"Ok, well what do you need Bella?" She takes a deep breath,

"Well I suffer from serious migraines and take a speciality painkiller and could definitely do with that – my head is killing me lately!" she tries to joke but I know the family is just going to hate itself even more, Bella has been suffering because we didn't think she grab her medications

"I also need a prescription for my birth control, I take it to ease my period pains, I suffer a lot with them' she blushes at this, obviously embarrassed

'Plus I also have anaemia so could probably do with an iron supplement" She takes a deep breath, clearly revealed to have gotten that all out and I am pleased she made the effort to talk to me, to ask me to help her.

"Ok well I will get those organised for you right away Bella"

"Thank you very much Dr Cullen" I nod but notice sadly that she doesn't seem comfortable enough to call me by my name. Someday soon hopefully.

Clearly uncomfortable now her task is complete she looks to Rosalie,

"Esme next?"

"Sure, She's in the garden" Rose takes Bella by the arm and gently leads her out. I quickly head to the living room where the family are gathered. Jasper is still being held back by Peter and Emmett, fighting his instinct to go to his mate and check her over. Alice looks at me with large sad and worried eyes,

"Is she ok?"

"Yes, I don't think she even sees it as something to worry about if I'm honest. I think she is use to the slight problems and deals with them"

"But they do cause her pain?" Charlotte asks

"Yes they do' I respond honestly 'The migraines in particular are very painful and without being controlled period pains can be crippling. The anaemia wont cause pain so much as a feeling of weakness and to be honest if she hadn't of approached me today she may well have started to suffer more in the next day or so but she did approach me and now we can make sure she has everything she needs"

"Yes but she shouldn't have had to come to you. She certainly didn't want to, I can feel her embarrassment. I should have known. I should have thought. I should be making sure she has everything she needs but instead I fail, I make her suffer" Jasper rails, his self-hatred at a peak. Finally Edward squats down in front of him,

"Jasper, shut up and listen to you mate. Listen to what she is doing' we all shut up at that point and listen as Bella speaks to Esme and cautiously and carefully asks if she could maybe have her room painted a pale blue and then surprisingly asks if she could have a cactus and some flowers in her room. We listen to Esme's joy and and warm agreement

'Rose is telling me how tense and nervous Bella is but she is trying. She is determined to try and live and connect with each of us which means she will try to connect with you too, all is not lost bro you just have to take it slowly"

"Eddie's right Jazz, Bella is trying, for whatever reason, she is trying. We have to try to." Emmett rushes to add his reassurance

"Bella has nothing Jazz, she is going to need help to get the things she needs and we can use that to help her connect to us" Charlotte tells him.

"Ok guys we need to disperse, Rose is going to bring Bella back and we don't want to overwhelm her with everyone at once." Edward tells us and quickly I move to my office, Alice goes to her room, Peter and Charlotte move to the kitchen, whilst Jasper goes to his room and Edward and Emmett remain in the living room.

Emmett POV

It seems I am next. My own mating pull tells me that my Rosie is aiming for me. I am suddenly very nervous. All I want is for Bella to be my sister. I watch as Rose and Bella stop in the doorway and Bella looks terrified. Very quietly she begins to whisper to Rose. Being a vampire I hear every word but pretend I don't

"I don't know what to ask him for Rose, I don't know what he could help me with" she sounds panicked. I am touched in a way, she wants to connect even if she doesn't know how. I send a small smile to my Rosie, she quickly replies to Bella

"Relax Bella I am here and trust me my monkey man will be happy to help you in anyway. He does love computers and technology though"

"But I don't have any money to buy any expensive technical equipment"

"Remember what Carlisle said to you five days ago though Bella, you are Cullen now. You have lots of money both as a Cullen and as Jasper's mate. You just say what you want and we will arrange the rest" Bella looks uncomfortable but resigned at this. Money talk clearly makes her feel awkward

"Ok" she sighs and then moves towards me. Edward I notice is pretending to read whilst actually watching the whole scene unfold.

"Emmett?"

"Hi Bella, what can I do for you?"

"Well Rose says you like computers so I was thinking maybe you could help me get a computer, it doesn't have to be anything fancy but I would really like to have one again" she's rambling so I quickly rush to interrupt

"No problem Bella, in fact I can help you with all you technical needs! So how about a printer? Digital camera? Scanner? Tv? DVD? MP3 Player? CD player?"

"Wow, well that would all be great but not the CD Player. I prefer records. I use to have a record player and great collection of records and I think having a CD player would just make me miss them even more" I'm glad she's opened up but she sounds so sad and I am hit by the enormity of what we have done, we have taken away everything she loved and liked.

"I can sort you out with a record player and records Bella if you like?" Peter asks, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. Bella looks very wary and surprised, I get the feeling she has more of a problem with Peter than the rest of us. She sighs and looks at Rose questioningly, Rose sees Peter's eager and hopeful face and nods, Bella takes a deep breath before looking at Peter and responding,

"That would be great, thank you Peter" her response to him is cool but polite. Edward takes this as his que to pipe up and puts his book aside, leaning forward

"What about me Bella? Is there anything I can help you with?" She looks at him and smiles a little more warmly,

"Books" she responds simply. He grins at her

"No problem, I'll get a good selection to get you started"

"Thank you" She nods. She then stands and looks to Rose,

"Charlotte?" she asks

"Charlotte" Rose nods

Charlotte POV

Bella walks into the kitchen with Rose standing protectively next to her. I smile as warmly as possible,

"What can I help you with sugar?"

"Well this is a bit weird and may be difficult" Bella starts biting her lip

"Whatever it is I promise I will sort it" I reassure her,

"Well in Port Angeles, near Forks there is a little independent bath store. They sell all kinds of bath goods and candles and they don't have an online shop of anything and I know its really far away so I don't expect you to go there its just I hoped you may be able to track down products similar to the ones I like? It may sound weird but I just feel that if I have things that are familiar and comforting like the cosmetic and bath products I use then I might feel more at home and more relaxed here" I smile sympathetically at her. That actually makes perfect sense and if it will help her I'll go to Port Angeles right now and buy the shop out.

"Its not weird Bella" Rose rushes to reassure her

"Rose is right Bella, it makes total sense and don't you worry I will get you those products. Now which scents do you like?" I ask

"I like the strawberry and lavender scents, I tend to alternate between the two but honestly I love all their products" she tells me, I nod and mentally start making lists. Bella thanks me and then walks out.

Rosalie POV

We are once again upstairs and Bella turns to look at me.

"I think I should speak to Jasper alone" I nod, understanding the awkwardness

"Ok, if you need me for anything call my name and when you finished if you want to be alone just head to the spare room next to Alice's, Esme is painting yours at the moment" She nods and then surprises me by hugging me

"Thank you for helping me Rose" she whispers,

"You very welcome Bella" I whisper back and then turn and go to find my mate.

Jasper POV

Finally it is my turn. My beautiful and brave mate is going to speak to me. I have paced and stewed as I have listened to her speak to everyone else. Wishing at everyone moment that it was me she was turning to for help. Whatever she wants though I am determined she will have. I will allow my family to provide the things she has asked for as it helps build a connection but from now on I want, no I need, to be the one to provide for my mate. There is no other option. I have to provide for my mate, my demon screams in agreement. She knocks at the door,

"Come in" she steps in and I can feel a maelstrom of emotions; anger, hatred, sadness, nervousness, fear, determination, resignation and hope. The hope is enough to lift my spirits slightly. Visually I drink her in. She is so beautiful, even as pale and fragile as she currently looks and in clothes too big and not fitted she is still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

"Hello Jasper" she whispers

"Hello Bella" I ache with a need to touch her, to love her in every way possible. She chews at her lower a lip and my cock stirs immediately, my brain is suddenly full of images involving that full and pouty lower lip; the lip wrapped around my cock as Bella sucks me off on her knees, Bella clawing at her lower lip in sexual frustration as I tease and torment her pussy with my tongue, the lower lip jutting out as she moans and screams as I fuck her from behind and that lip meeting my lip in every type of kiss imaginable, sweet, hot, gentle, rough. I have never wanted any woman the way I want this woman.

"There is a chest. It has been in the swan family for generations. It is large and wooden with carvings of flowers all over it. If there is just one thing I could have, just one thing I could bring from my old life into this new life, it would be that chest. Is there anyway you can try and get it for me Jasper?" she asks me and her eyes are full of un-shed tears. Whatever is in that chest means everything to her and she desperately wants it. And she is asking me, her mate for it. I feel anger that she is sad and self-hatred because I know I have caused her sadness but at the same time I feel deep happiness because my beautiful mate is asking me for something. Suddenly for the first time in days I have hope. I will get her chest and I will prove to her that she can rely on me and that I will love her and provide for her and protect her and make her happy. Before I know what I am doing I stride over to her and cup her face in my hands. She is startled and her fear spikes, but I simply use my thumbs to wipe away her stray tears and gently whisper,

"I will get you your chest my darling, I promise you" the moment between us is charged, skin to skin contact making the mating pull burn and fizzle between us, I am desperate to kiss her but before I can she whispers a thank you and then yanks herself away from me and flees to the spare room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:- Thank you so much to everyone who has left me such lovely reviews! I was so nervous to post a story but everyone's positive response has made me feel so much better! I really value any comments anyone may make. So on with the story!**

**Authors note – please forgive any spelling, tense, grammar mistakes. I do not yet have a beta. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the twilight universe, I'm just playing!**

Chapter Three: One Step Forward, Ten Steps Back

Jasper POV

After my beautiful mate made her request I quickly went to find Peter and gave him strict instructions not to leave her. I hated the idea of leaving her but desperately wanted to get the chest for her. I had to do this for two reasons. Firstly it was something she wanted and my instinct demanded I provide my mate with anything her heart desires and secondly I wanted to do something, anything that might ease her anger and pain. I was desperate to connect with my mate. My instincts not to mention my demon were screaming at me in agony. Every part of me wanted to be able to be with her. Not just sexually – although by the gods did I want to claim her and make love to her glorious body – but also emotionally and mentally. I need to be able to speak to her, make her smile, hear her laugh and touch her. I want to hold her hand, wrap my arm around her shoulder or waist and keep her by side. Males are always very affectionate with their mates; gentle caresses, a hand always on the leg, a gentle touch of the hair, a kiss on the forehead or to the temple. A male vampire yearned for their mate; they loved and worshipped them true but they also possessed them. Mates belong to each other in the deepest, most basic and primal ways and yet I'm a male vampire who can't really be with his mate. I want her so badly but she just isn't ready. She doesn't even like me and its killing me slowly but surely.

I spend the next 18 hours speeding to Forks where I locate the chest. The foster home she had been staying in had yet to decide what to do with Bella's belongings and they just sitting in her old room. Once the home was empty I broke in and grabbed the chest and on a whim also grabbed a couple of old books, a patch work blanket and a wooden jewellery box and loaded it all into my car and quickly drove back to my mate.

I arrive late. It has just passed four am when I dash up the stairs to Bella's room, ignoring my family. I didn't really know whether what I was doing was a good idea but all I knew was that I had been away from my mate for almost a day and I had to be close to her. I entered her room and inhaled deeply. Her scent saturated me; filling me up and making me feel as if my heart might beat again. I let out a low purr in pleasure as I took in her scent and gazed upon my mate. Alice must have already gotten her some clothes as she is wearing something new. She lies asleep on top of her covers, no blanket covering her. She is lying on her back one arm laying across her stomach, the other stretched above head slightly. Her long legs on for miles and are bare. She is wearing a pair of soft-looking black sleep shorts which fall to her mid-thigh leaving the rest of her gently curving pale legs exposed to my eyes. I want to kneel at the base of the bed and kiss my way up her legs, placing soft kisses, little licks and making gentle nips and bites all along. I want to stroke her smooth calves and let me hands wander up to grip and caress her thighs. I want to be able to sit with her on my lap, hold her close and talk with her as I make patterns on the skin of her legs with my fingertips. I want her to straddle me and let me rest my palms on her thighs and I want to feel those glorious legs wrap around my waist as I pound into her.

A thin sliver of stomach is exposed which I am dying to trace with my tongue before her red cotton cami begins. It hugs her beautifully and the colour against her pale peaches and cream skin makes my already hard cock harden even more. The cami stretches deliciously against her breasts and I can see a hint of her beautiful cleavage; enough to make me desperate to rip the top off her and expose those gorgeous tits to my eyes. From the second I saw her I have loved her breasts. My girl has the most perfect breasts. Not overly large but not tiny either; they will fit perfectly in my hand. I want to hold one in each hand and feel the weight of them. I want to lie with her topless and feel her breasts press against my chest, nipples brushing each other. I want to take as much of a breast into my mouth and gently suckle and lick. I want to tug and kiss and bite at her nipples and cover her breasts with my kisses. I want to trace every millimetre of them with my tongue. I want her to ride me and watch them bounce and I want the freedom to look at them and brush against them whenever I wish to.

Her face though, her beautiful face is what calls to me the most. She looks so peaceful and so content asleep and I cant help but go to her. I know I shouldn't. She hasn't invited me or given any indication that she would want me near her but I cant help myself. I yank my shirt and t-shirt off over my head and let it drop to the floor. I kick off my boots and pull of my socks. Then barefoot and topless I move to her bed and careful not to wake her, I lie down next to her. I turn on my side to see her better. I reach out and stroke her hair gently. I am shocked when she rolls over onto her side to face me and even more shocked when she then pressed her body against me, curling into my side. At this point I am lost. Her heat sears me, her scent calls me and as a smile plays across her face I am overjoyed that she wants me – my presence is calling her, so that she can't help but seek me out in her sleep. She is, for the first time, recognising me as her mate – albeit subconsciously and my happiness floods me. Suddenly she moves her arm and drapes it around my waist, pulling at me slightly. I move as close as I can to her, pressing myself against her and carefully manoeuvre her so that I can wrap my arms around her and slip one of my legs in between hers. I wait a couple of moments to see if she wakes. Instead she sighs and murmurs,

"Jasper" she whispers, I look down and she is still asleep. She is thinking of me in her sleep. I close my eyes and bury my face in her hair. I have never been more at peace than I am right now with my mate wrapped around me.

After an hour or so she move her head slightly and her hair falls back exposing part of her neck. I can't help but move my hand to gently brush the rest of her hair away. I lean down and cautiously press my lips to her neck. She doesn't react and I am so happy to be connecting with her in any way that I begin to leave gentle kiss up and down the column of her throat. I now begin to give little open mouth kisses, touching my tongue to her skin briefly. The taste of her is exquisite. She tastes like home and heaven. I need more. I push against her and digging my other hand into her hair and continue to nip and kiss at her throat. She moans lowly and her hands press against my back and before I register what I am doing I roll her on to her back and roll of top of her. I press my hard cock into her softness and bury my face into her neck, kissing and purring in sheer joy and lust. I use one arm to brace my weight so that I don't crush her and the other remains buried in her hair.

Suddenly there is a sharp gasp and I look up and in her eyes. In her eyes. Her open, conscious eyes. Her hands move to my chest and she is trying to push me away, her legs kicking at me but my brain has shut off, I just want my mate. I want to claim her and be with her. I don't understand what is happening. I take her hands and pin her to the bed and growl at her lightly. Everything freezes as I gaze down at my mate. Tears are running down her face, she is gasping for breath and her emotions are radiating off her; fear, anger, desperation, confusion. Horrified at what I have done to my mate, I throw myself off her and press myself against the far wall. Self-loathing fills me as I watch my beauty curl up into a ball.

My family bursts into the room a second later.

I realise three things.

Minutes ago she had been sleeping peacefully, accepting on some level that I was her mate.

In mere moments I had taken advantage of and terrified my precious mate.

She may never forgive or accept me now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok. I am back! I have had an extremely tough year but I am back and I am writing again. I have many new stories on the horizon as well. First up a new chapter! This one is very short but I will be updating at least once a week and I know how the story will be developing so I hope you all enjoy. **

**I want to say thank you for my all wonderful readers and hope you all stick with me!**

**I would like to say that I plan to make this story quite long. There will be happy ending but it is not going to happen quickly. I am also very detailed so events and conversations will take time to work through.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

**Warning: ANGST ahead! Bella is FREAKED!**

**Oh and I don't own twilight I just play with Jasper from time to time!**

Chapter 4: Anguish

BELLA POV

I can barely breathe. I am shaking so hard my teeth are rattling. I am cold but I daren't move. I am curled up in the far corner of my bathroom. My knees drawn up to my chest, I hug them close. I am wedged in between the toilet and the wall and the cold hard surfaces create a cocoon. Nobody can come behind me or sit beside me. The sense of being trapped is vaguely comforting because it is a trap I have chosen. I am barefoot. I am wearing only shorts and a camisole. I am cold sitting on the floor but I don't want to emerge. I want to hide. I want to stay here.

I don't understand what happened.

Everything I have been told is a lie.

All along everyone has said that I am safe here. That Jasper loves me. That Jasper could never hurt me. HA! He forced himself on me. I woke up trapped beneath him. I couldn't move and I would never be able to fight him off. He could do whatever he wished to me.

I think that might be what bothers me most of all. I have no power. I have no rights. I am not equal in any way. Even if I did buy into all the mate stuff, even if I did believe that he is my other half how could I ever have a relationship with him? We wouldn't be equals. How do I know he wouldn't use his power to manipulate me? How do I know he simply wouldn't use his strength against me?

I have never felt so weak in all my life.

And so alone.

I saw the looks in everyone's eyes. They felt sorry for HIM! He almost rapes me and they feel sorry for him. I could tell. They looked at him and at me curled up and sobbing and they felt sorry for him. They want us together, all happy and smiling and they are sorry for him because it's not working out as rosy as he wants it too.

I get kidnapped, my life turned upside down and everyone is on his side.

He keeps me emotionally drugged for days and everyone is on his side.

He refuses to let me go and everyone is on his side.

And now he molests me in my sleep and damn near forces himself upon me and they are still on his side!

I hate them all.

I can't trust them.

I don't know them.

I don't understand them.

I don't know what to do anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi guys! So I said I was writing again and I promised you wouldn't have to wait long for a new chapter and so here we go! This one is a bit longer too!**

**Remember , I don't own Twilight I just like to play with the characters a bit! Especially Jasper…**

Chapter Five: Rock Bottom

Jasper POV

There have been many times in my long existence when I have disliked myself. There were many moments where I wished I had never left my small Texan home, never joined the army, never became a Major and never been turned into a vampire. As I spent year after year, slowly moving on and evolving and becoming part of a family there were many times when despite moments of peace I wished I could die, wished that killing a vampire was easier; so extreme was my fear of always being alone, of never finding my mate. I was so naïve. I had convinced myself that once I found my mate everything would just slot into place, that everything would suddenly be easier and make sense. Even after searching extensively and coming to the realisation that it was entirely possible my mate would be human or best case scenario a very young – perhaps even new-born – vamp, I still assumed it would be simple. I thought that even if my mate was human it would be easy; slower perhaps than normal vampire courtships but that we would naturally and easily fall in love. I thought that it would be easy to control my urges, control my instincts. I thought it would be easy to let her have her space and come to term with things in her own time. I thought that I would simply watch her and be there for her and love her and she would naturally gravitate to me and we would be in love in no time, and then after a couple of months I would turn her and all would be perfect in my previously bleak existence. I thought that deep down somewhere inside her, my mate – even if she was human – would instinctively recognise me as hers, would instinctively feel the mating pull. It turns out that was the only thing I got right. On some level Bella does recognise me as her mate, extremely deep down there may even be a part of her that wants me but she is fighting against it. She does not love me. She does not trust me and now I am not sure she will ever want to or ever even try.

I have retreated to the woods. Feeling my mates shock, pain, fear and anger and not being able to go to her and comfort her – as I would obviously only make it worse – was ripping me apart. I could hear her sobbing in her bathroom for a long time and each sob felt like the pain of another vampire bite; a pain I relished in some sick way, as I knew I deserved it. When she eventually calmed a little Rosalie went in to try and comfort her and see if she could get her to eat or drink something. Instantly Bella attacked, she verbally tore Rose apart in a way I have never heard before; she rallied against not just Rose but the whole family. She said they were all monsters. Monsters who just wanted her to go along with whatever they wanted to make their precious son and brother happy. She accused them of not caring about her, of it not mattering what I did to her because they would always take my side, always try to justify and explain what I did no matter how appalling. She asked Rose harshly what I would need to do before the family finally admitted the situation was fucked up; would she need to be beaten? Raped? Killed? Rose could say nothing in return, none of the family could and when no one (as we had all come to stand with Rose at this point) could give her an answer, Bella's beautiful face turned totally blank. She calmly and with no emotion asked if she could be left alone and feeling utterly helpless we all complied. After that I could take no more and fled the house and the feelings of despair and self-hatred that leaked from all my family.

After six hours, my brothers find me. I am sitting in the middle of a clearing, thinking.

"Your moping" Peter, the dickhead states as he arrives in front of me

"Go away Peter" I snarl

"Nope" he says as he sits down beside me. Emmett and Edward quickly follow him into the clearing.

"Are you ok bro?" Emmett asks, I merely snort in response and they are chuckle. They know I am not ok, my mate hates me. Things could not be any worse.

"Ah but that's the key thing Jazz" Edward says, I look up at him questioningly

"What do you mean?"

"Things could not be any worse" He states beginning to look slightly smug, I swear his mind reading pisses me off. He smiles even more at this

"Ok are you going to tell me what the fuck you are going on about before I rip your head off? I don't know if you've noticed but things are pretty shit at the moment and my poor mate is terrified of me and thinks that nobody will ever truly care about her or be on her side, I honestly can't take much more so don't fucking push me!" I snarl and start to creep into a crouch before I'm even away. Quickly they all kneel and Edward puts his hands up in a surrender fashion,

"Easy Jazz let me explain, I know this is hard for you but I think I have a theory you need to hear" his voice is clam and pleading but my pain and desperation are taking over my mind,

"Listen to him Major" Peter quietly says and Emmett puts his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me. I force myself to hear their words and after several long minutes I nod.

"Ok so hear it is, I think that what has happened is a good thing" Edward states calmly. I see red. Before I know it Edward is on the floor, my power flooding terror and pain into him, keeping him paralysed as I tower over him.

"My mate being in pain, my mate being scared is NEVER A GOOD THING!" I roar, Edward cringes away from me and the beast inside me roars in delight, he should be afraid. After a moment I become away of the Lieutenant standing to my left,

"Major, I really think you need to hear him out. My sense is telling me it is important." I am truly torn. On the one hand I am desperate to tear this idiot to pieces for daring to suggest that my Isabella being scared is a good thing but on the other hand the Lieutenant has never led me astray. His strange gift has always been accurate.

With substantial effort on my behalf I force my power down and allow Edward to get up.

"Explain!" I bark

"And try not to say anything stupid Dickward" Peter mutters, Emmett is staying unusually silent. I can tell from his emotions that while he doesn't want us to harm each other he also understands the need to protect your mate. He knows that I can't currently do much for or with my mate so my instincts are even more out of hand than they usually would be. Emmett appears to have decided that the most sensible course of action is to be present in case needed but for the most part to allow things to work themselves out.

Edward takes an unnecessary deep breath and begins,

"Ok, things had to come to a head Jazz. Bella had to get her anger and pain out. There had to be an event or a trigger to allow everything between us all to come out. Things are bad I won't lie but this is rock bottom. The only possible way is up. From this time on is when we all need to start truly being honest. You need to be truly honest with her. She needs to work things out and it will probably take a long time but like I said the only way is up. She is facing the worse it can get, she may not realise it yet but she is. We all know that you would never have actually raped her, you wouldn't be able to. You would have soon stopped because her fear was registering with you and the confusion you were feeling and thinking would have soon given way to a desire to make it better. We all know this but she doesn't. She thinks that you're strong and unstoppable and that you would and could have just taken her. But that isn't true and now is your time to show her that!" By the end of his speech Edward is enthusiastic and passionate and I can't help but see the logic in his words. Bella doesn't really know anything about me or mating or vampire instincts. What I did was totally wrong and I will forever hate myself for causing her fear but it was not an attack. I could never attack my mate and I would never do anything that she had not expressively and consciously given her permission for. She doesn't know any of this though. We have all been so busy just hoping she would go along with the whole situation and trying to tell her how great our life can be that we haven't truly explained much. She doesn't understand. And we have lied to her. Or rather we have misled her. She believes that any friendly behaviour my family is displaying is just to try and get her to accept the situation and that no one can truly be her friend, be on her side because they are too busy wanting her to just shut up and be my mate. And sadly to an extent for some of my family there is an element of that. Not maliciously. But I know that Peter is impatient to see me happy. So are Esme and Alice. So Bella may pick up on an element of pressure in her dealings with them. And that is hurting her. We all need to be more honest and if need be back off and let her alone. But my family's relationships with her are – at this moment in time – not my concern. My relationship with Bella is my only concern. I need to see her, speak with her. I need to apologise and explain some things to her. I need to make her some basic promises and then I need to stick to them and make sure I prove to her day by day that I will never harm her and she never needs to fear me.

My brothers can tell the moment I come to my realisation and they all smile. No words are spoken however as we head back to the house. They follow me in and all the women are likewise silent but will small fearfully hopeful smiles on their faces. I know that Alice would have seen my decisions and all that has happened in the clearing included Edwards words of wisdom and she must have explained everything to them. They all quickly but quietly leave., soon I am alone in the house with my beautiful mate. I take a few moments to clear my head before heading up the stairs to her room.

Time for a long overdue talk.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm back! This is super short but I hope that adds to its power. Chapter 7 is already written and will be posted shortly. **

**Hope you love it! Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just toy with Jasper for my own amusement. **

Chapter Six: Lost Little Girl

BPOV

I am sitting on my bed, knees drawn up to my chest. I feel numb. I stopped crying over an hour ago. After I screamed and shouted at them all, told them everything I thought. I told them how fucked up the situation is, how sick it is that they all side with him and how I know they don't really care about me; how I know all they really care about is that I hurry up and adjust and get on with being a good little mate. I shouted this all at them and no one said a thing. They didn't defend themselves. They didn't contradict me. And suddenly it hit me.

I can't move on.

I can't make friends, play nice and live my life.

Because it's not my life. Not anymore. A life is something you have control over, something you can make choices about. But I have no choices and I am no one's equal and I have nobody on my side. Nobody to defend me. I have never felt so alone and so broken. I am broken, I realise. I have no fight left, because really what's the point? I can't change the fact I am Jasper's mate and I can't make the best of it; because the best just means being a perfect little mate and going along with whatever they all want. I am feisty, strong, and independent. Charlie brought Isabella Swan up to make her own decisions, to carve out her own path and to live her life according to nobody's rules but her own. But there is no place in this new vampire world for that Isabella Swan. She can't exist here and I don't know how to be anybody else.

I am lost.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hope you love it! Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just toy with Jasper for my own amusement. **

**Notes:**

**This is a biggie folks, this is where we start really getting into the meat of the story and this chapter begins the move into the next major part of the story.**

**Judging by some of the reviews I got for the last chapter I think most of you will be very happy with the direction this story will be taking for a while!**

**Here we go!**

Chapter 7: Total Honesty

Jasper POV

As I reach Bella's bedroom door I taste the air with my power; an instinctive action to check on my mate. I am dismayed but not surprised to feel her anger, pain and hopelessness. I take an unnecessary deep breath and try to calm my mind. I honestly do not know how to have this conversation with Bella but I know that I must.

After a moment I knock on the door, I get no response. This does not surprise me but it does make things more awkward. I don't want to intrude on her privacy and upset her any more than I already have but I must speak to her. There are things that need to properly be explained to her and she needs to be able to ask her questions; the air must be cleared. I knock again.

Again there is no response. Finally I speak.

"I won't come into your room ever again without your permission Bella but I must talk to you. We must talk. There are things I need to explain and I know you must have questions. Please let me answer them for you." I get no response and while my vampire senses detect a slight change in her heartbeat that tells me she heard me I can detect no other physical reaction. I sigh audibly. I place a hand on each side of the doorway and lean forward resting my forehead against the wood of her door.

"Isabella I had so many ideas about what I would say to explain things to you. So many ways I would try to word things so that you understand and see my side of things. I would still like the opportunity to tell you the things I should have told you at the very beginning but I understand now that there is only one thing I have to tell you, only one thing I must say – one thing that you must know, only one thing that after everything you have been through I could possibly say." I sigh again and suddenly hear her move, she says nothing but I can hear her move towards the door, walking until she is standing just in front of the door. She says nothing. She does nothing else. But at least now I know she is listening, she hears me. She is giving me a chance, albeit a slight one. I take a deep break before I speak.

"I am sorry Isabella" I decide to just take a risk,

"I was wrong, I have been wrong. I have done everything wrong. I have hurt you my beautiful mate and I am so deeply sorry, I am so sorry Bella, truly." There is no response. Just silence. I close my eyes. I want to work things out but it is going to be impossible if I can't even convince Bella to allow me to speak to her.

"I don't know what other option I could have taken if I am honest. It is unusual for me, for one of my kind, to be so utterly adrift; to not know what to do or what action to take. I was lost. I didn't know what to do for the best and my instincts were screaming at me and I couldn't think. To not have you with me would have led to disaster this I know. I know there must have been a better solution to kidnap but I couldn't see one and I felt like time was running out so acted and I am so sorry my actions have caused you pain." Still she says nothing but I can hear her breathing and when I check her emotions amongst the ever present pain and anger I can sense a tiny slither of understanding and sympathy. I take a risk and continue speaking,

"The actual taking of you was done all wrong as well. It could have been done in such a better way, a fairer way. I could have talked to you, begged you to understand, explained things to you, allowed you the right to ask questions but I didn't. I took you and then I panicked. Since then I have handled everything wrong and I will never forgive myself. Ever. To me you are everything. I want you safe and secure and happy. I never want you to fear me or hate me; the fact you do tears me apart. It tears me apart because I know it is all my own fault. I am so sorry. I am sorry I have done this to you."

"What would you have explained?" a soft voice asks. I am shocked and dumbstruck,

"huh?" I answer stupidly, I can hear her shift on the other side of the door; I have somehow missed her coming closer to the point where we are standing right opposite each other with just a couple of inches of wooden door between us

"If you had sat me down and just talked to me instead of taking me or even if you had talked to me at the very beginning when you first took me, talked instead of keeping me unconscious; if you had explained this mate thing right at the beginning what would you have told me?" she asks

"I would have told you that Vampires are ruled by instinct, a fact which makes us deadly but which for you makes you the most protected creature on the planet. I would have told that I am a monster, a feared monster and that I cared for nothing with any real conviction until the second I saw you. I would have told you that the most important instinct to a male vampire is that which drives us to find and then love and protect our mate. I would have told you that to a male vampire who finds his mate in a human the connection is instantaneous, I feel for you just as intensely as I would if you were a vampire. For you the connection is faint, hidden in your subconscious and it will take time to develop. It would in truth be easier if you were vampire because then you would feel the connection and the instinct to be my mate as strongly as I do" I say with a wry grin

"Why did you kidnap me then? Why not just turn me into a vampire?" she asks

"Because of my instinct to love and protect you. I can't hurt you, I can't cause you physical pain and seeing fear in your eyes or sensing it will stop any action immediately Isabella. I crave only to protect you and worship you. If I can sense your fear or unease or pain I instantly need to make it better. Sometimes I will admittedly get it wrong. Earlier when you woke and you were scared and I growled at you – that was not an aggressive growl. Vampires have a whole array of growls for their mates, it is another way of communicating, an instinctive way. When you were asleep you were responding to me, we were bonding and that was something I had been desperately craving but when you went ridged in my arms and I could detect your unease I was still deeply in touch with my beast so my response was animalistic – a growl to enquire on what was wrong. And I held you more firmly to keep you safe within my arms in case the cause for your unease was an outside threat, it was instinctive and only comes out of a need to protect you." I explain, there is silence for a moment before suddenly the door opens. My beautiful mate is looking at me with a strange mixture of both curiosity and wariness. She takes several steps back and then makes a vague gesture towards one of her chairs. I go over to it and then sit. I wait,

"So you wouldn't have continued kissing me? You wouldn't have forced me against my will?" she asks, fear in her eyes

"NEVER!" I almost shout

"I know my responses won't always make sense to you and that I do need to explain things better but I swear I won't hurt you and I will never force you to do anything' she looks at me with her head tilted to one side

'God, just the thought of doing that to you makes me feel physically sick. I can't Isabella. I physically can't cause you true pain or fear, it goes against my instincts I am incapable of causing you harm. If we had not been disturbed earlier I would have gotten off you anyway as soon as I had realised that your unease and sudden pushing against me was spurred by fear of me my instinct would have demanded that I give you the space you needed and fix the situation in way I can." I try to infuse my speech with as much genuine feeling as possible; I need her to know I speak the truth,

"Really?" she asks

"Yes Isabella. It is the reason I can't turn you. If I were to turn you now you would be filled with fear of me. The transformation is painful anyway but if done against someone's will, before they are ready, it is truly terrifying. If a person is turned by their mate, when their love is strong and when there is trust then the transformation is easier and the person is comforted by the presence of their mate. I can't turn you because you are not ready, you would gain no comfort from my presence and my instinct will stop me the second I detect your fear. I must wait until you are ready and at ease with the mating and with me, wait until you are able to allow me to be a comfort to you, ease you through the transformation". I try to explain

"What if I am never ready?" she asks, I close my eyes briefly, horrified by the idea of watching her die from old age or sickness but I answer almost instantly and with total honesty,

"Then I would never change you." I can feel her disbelief

"Truly?" she whispers, I look into her eyes and allow myself to show her my honesty, my love and my pain in my face, my eyes. She stares at me for a long moment and I can feel the moment she believes me.

"oh" she gasps and moves back to sit on her bed. She leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees and put her face in her palms. We sit quietly for several long moments. After a while she speaks,

"What are the rules?" she asks

"Rules?" I echo, utterly confused

"Yeah, I mean what rules do I have to follow as your mate? How am I meant to behave?"

"You don't have to be behave in any set way. There are no rules!" I am amazed she thinks there are any!

"But there are expectations!' she argues 'There are ways in which I should behave, I see it in everyone's eyes. Everyone expects me to act in a certain way but I don't know what that way is! I don't understand how I am meant to be, I don't understand how this mate thing is meant to work and it's hurting me because I am stressed all the time trying to work out how to behave!" I can feel her frustration, her pain and her confusion and my heart breaks as I watch tears fill her eyes.

"I want to move on with my life Jasper. I hate being so angry, so lost, so desperate but I just don't know how to move forward when I don't know what my role is in this new life, how I am meant to function! I need to know the rules of this new life Jasper!" She sobs

Before I can help myself I am on my knees before her. I take her hands in mine and feel my heart clench with she flinches slightly at my touch, _she doesn't trust me_, I think.

"Darling, please look at me" I beg, slowly she raises her head to look me in the eye; she looks so broken, so confused and so frustrated.

"THERE ARE NO RULES" I state firmly, willing her to believe me

"But…." She stammers

"No,' I state 'Fully mated vampire couples do often share similar behavioural traits as other mated couples because mating is instinctual and we all have the same instincts and it is true that the family is eager for us to get to the stage where we are like all other mated couples, they do want to see us act like any other mated couple but that is all it is – their hope and their enthusiasm"

"So you don't have rules you need me to abide by as your mate? A certain way you wish me to behave?" She asks timidly,

"God no!' I exclaim 'I want you just the way you are. There are aspects of my instinct and behaviour I need to explain to you so that you know why I may act in some ways and I am afraid that being possessive and protective is a major trait of all male vampires towards their mate but no matter how possessive or protective I am of you it is vital that you understand that I do not want to control you. I don't want your sprit broken; I don't want you to feel unequal to me. I want you as my partner, my lover and my friend. I want you to be yourself. I want to know you. I want you to argue with me, put me in my place when I am being an ass and I want you to know that I will always be on your side. I will always back you up. Always listen to you. Always respect you and your decisions. I swear to you Bella you do have choices. I need you to be near me, that is a fact but everything else is your hands. Exactly what kind of relationship we have is all on your terms." I speak passionately and push my emotions out to her, she gasps

"What is that?" she asks

"My feelings, I am showing you what I feel" I explain. She closes her eyes and scrunches her nose up in an adorable fashion

"Ok, I believe you" she states, letting out a deep breath. I lean forward and gently kiss the hand I am holding.

"Thank you" I quickly back off and go back to sitting in my chair. I don't want to crowd her.

I don't know what else to say. I don't know else to do. This talk has gone better than I could ever have hoped. But now I don't know where to go from here.

We sit for a long time. Minutes pass by and Bella just sits and looks at her hands. Her emotions are calm and contemplative. I wait and just quietly watch her. I want to leave the ball in her court – let her decide how things go from here.

After what seems like an age but is actually about twenty minutes she finally speaks.

"I want to leave" her voice suddenly announces. My eyes snap to hers and I look at her in pure shock. Leave? She knows she can't. I can't be away from my mate – we can't be apart, that's why she was kidnapped in the first place! Leave? What is she on about?

My confusion and disbelief must be obvious to her however because she quickly clarifies,

"I want us to leave" I am relieved by the 'us' but I still don't fully get what she is getting at. My power tells me that determination is slowly but steadily sweeping over her; she has a plan formulating.

"I want us to leave your family, I want to go somewhere, anywhere just the two of us" There it is. I am in shock. Leave my family? The Cullens? Peter and Charlotte? That would devastate them and me if I am honest. Before I can say anything however Bella stands,

"Yes, leave, its perfect" she mutters, possibly to herself. For a couple of minutes she simply paces back and forth, thinking hard and then suddenly stops. She comes to stand just three feet away from me. She has clearly warmed to her idea – her face is set in determination and her eyes alight with a fire I have never seen before. She is glorious.

"I will consent Jasper, I will fully and utterly consent to properly giving this mate-thing a try. No more hesitation I will do my best to fully embrace my future, my future with you.' My beast roars in satisfaction with this and I can't believe it. I have never felt so happy and i know I must be projecting because for the first time she smiles warmly at me. For a perfect moment we are utterly still, me sitting, she standing, our eyes locked, smiling at each over. But almost as suddenly as the moment arrives it passes as she shakes off the happiness and the smile and her face is filled with grim determination.

'I have a condition Jasper" she reminds me and suddenly I am plummeted back to what she said – she wants us to leave the family.

"You want us to leave our family" I state, instantly I am hit by her anger and hate

"THEY ARE NOT MY FAMILY!" she screams. I wince at the force of her emotions and desperately want to go to her and comfort her – as is my duty as her mate. I push the instinct back however and give her a moment to calm herself. When she does, she states her condition and her voice is cold and clipped.

"They are not my family. They are not my friends. They want me to bend to their will. They want me to shut up and move on and be a good little mate for you. I have nobody on my side. Nobody I can trust. If we remain in this house it will always be me against all of you. They will always side with you because none of them truly see anything wrong with what they did, with what you have all done." She is right in a way but wrong in so many other ways. I try desperately to explain,

"That is not true Bella' she raises an eyebrow 'well not totally. They genuinely care for you – I can feel it and they are deeply sorry for the pain we have all put you through."

"But they don't regret it. None of you so called human-loving vamps feel remotely bad about the fact that you took my free will away. I am starting to get how you feel Jasper, I truly am and maybe one day I can forgive you completely, but I can't do that here. I can't embrace being your mate and embrace other forced relationships like sister, daughter and friend. I don't want brothers and sisters and new parents. I don't want any of it because I didn't choose it. If you truly want me to try and accept being you mate then it cannot be done here. I won't be able to do it here. I am too angry, too resentful and too mistrustful. I will never relax long enough to let you in Jasper." Her voice is partly pleading at the end.

She is begging me to understand. But there is more to her request that just wanting to be away from the family. She is asking me to be true to my word, to treat her as an equal, a partner. To meet her halfway and make a sacrifice in order to make our relationship work. She wants to make decisions and have them respected. She tried to move on with her life here in the family home and it didn't work, there is too much pressure.

She needs to have some control over her life and I must respect that. I look at her and see her, my beautiful mate. It will hurt and I will miss my family and it will cause them pain but I know I must abide by my mate's wishes.

I stand and step towards her. Her fear spikes briefly but she doesn't step back. I reach a hand up to cup her cheek and she lets me.

"Ok my mate. We will leave"

"Really?" she is surprised by my acceptance

"Yes really. If this is what it takes to make things work between us then I will do it. Besides you have given up so much, had so much taken away from you – it is only fair that I make a sacrifice as well."

"Thank you" She murmurs, looking down. I stroke her cheek lightly with my thumb

"How do you need this to work Isabella?" she looks up at me, nibbling on her lower lip. I internally groan, images of what I would love to do to that lip racing through my brain. I force myself to shake those images from my brain as she speaks.

"I would like to leave within the next few days if possible?" she is hesitant now. How strange my little mate is. One minute so full of fire and fight but now I have agreed to her request she is shy and unsure. I smile at her

"How about we leave in three days?" I suggest, she nods in response

"Sounds great"

"What else?" I ask.

"I don't want to see or speak to anyone from your family at all until I am ready. I don't want you to suggest us seeing them at all until I am ready. And when we do see them it can't be all at once – a couple at a time. Everything done at my pace and on my terms." The fight briefly returned to her voice as she spoke but as she finished, she quickly looked away from me as if frightened of my response. In truth I am not surprised by this wish. I expected it given how she feels about them. I need to reassure that I understand and that it is fine. I lift up my other hand to cup her other cheek and gently turn her face to look at me.

"Hey' I say softly 'It's ok, I understand. No visit, no contact"

"You can speak to them if you want to Jasper, even see them when possible if you wish – meet somewhere neutral to catch up or something but I couldn't be there. I don't want any contact but I won't stop you from speaking to them" the fact that she won't stop me from contacting my loved ones but I have stopped her is not lost on me. She is a far better person than me.

"Ok" I say

"I thought we could travel a bit, move from place to place. See things, get to know each other" she suggests and I can feel myself nodding before I even speak,

"Excellent idea" I say and it really is. Travelling will give us a chance to bond, get to know each other.

"We can date!" I tell her with a smile. Already planning dates to take her on. She gives me a small smile in response.

"That would be nice" she says. And normal I add mentally. I want to give her something normal in all this madness.

"We will leave in three days. We'll pack up my truck and just drive. We can go from place to place, staying for however long you fancy. We'll see the sights; have adventures, anything you want." She smiles in true happiness at me, clearly pleased that I have realised how important this is.

For the first moment since I took her I feel true hope rise in my heart.

This could work.

We have a chance.

**There we go!**

**So, they are going to leave the family! This is going to cause some tension!**

**A teaser for the next chapter….**

_**Someone gets thrown through a wall!**_

**Please, please, please review everyone!**

**This is my biggest chapter to date and I would love to hear what everyone thinks!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I am back! I know that many of you probably thought I had given up on this story completely after being away for so long and if any of you have decided not to continue reading after such a long hiatus I totally understand and apologise. For those of you still with me Thank You – your loyalty means a lot to me and I promise that not only am I back but I have a full outline of this story, will be publishing two chapters a week until it is finished. I estimate that the story will be 40 chapters long. Things slipped away from me for a while and I had chronic writers block but I am back now and I love these characters. My favourite part of the story is about to start and I hope everyone likes it. **

**As always none of these characters belong to me I am just playing with them. **

Jasper POV

Almost as soon as we have finished our discussion and come to our agreement my senses prick, my family are descending. I quickly check my watch and notice we have been left alone for over five hours. They have clearly decided that it is now time to return. They are about ten minutes away. I continue to stand with Bella, looking at her. She is calmer, more at ease and she is gracing me with a small half-smile. She is beautiful. For the first time since we have met, since I took her, things between us are not awkward; we are simply existing in a little bubble together and it is perfect.

It cannot last forever however. My family are almost here and there is a lot we need to get done so that we can leave and begin our adventure together.

"Bella" I stop I normally call her Isabella as she has not given me permission to use her nickname and I do not know if she is comfortable with me using a name that was probably affectionately used by her family and friends, she seems to sense my quandary and after a moment she seems to come to a decision,

"You can call me Bella Jasper, If we are mates then you shouldn't have to be so formal with me, besides Isabella always makes me feel like I am in trouble or talking to a teacher" she tells me with a wry smile,

"Thank you darling. Anyway, as I was saying my family are on their way back, I can sense them."

"Already?" she asks, her brow furrowing slightly.

"Yeah so I was thinking that it might be best if we tell them our plans straight away so that we can get organised" she seems to fall into deep thought at my words and I can sense irritation and apprehension coming from her.

"Hey, don't worry they will completely understand. They are all mated couples after all, they know how important it is for us to bond and get to know each other properly. And if you want you can stay here and I will go down and explain things to them. You don't have to be there if you don't want to." I say, trying to ease her but to my surprise she looks up with a quiet determination in her face,

"No we should do this together" she states firmly. I look at her and reach out with my power trying to make sure she is ok when all I sense is determination and certainty I nod.

"Ok darling if you are sure. Shall we?" I say offering her my hand.

Bella POV

I didn't want to take Jasper's hand. I still feel uncomfortable and a part of me doesn't want to allow him too close. A part of me wants to stay angry and resentful. A part of me feels like he doesn't deserve a chance. To an extent I also feel like if I try to get on with him and try to build something then I am giving in. That I would be saying that what has been done to me is ok or right somehow and it's not. I want to stay angry and I want to keep him at bay but I know I can't. Bitter and hateful? That is no way to live. Besides I told him that if he compromised and left with me then I would give this whole mate thing a real try and I meant what I said and in a way this is a first step – letting him close, even if it is just a hand hold. So slowly I slip my hand into his and he smiles warmly at me when I do.

We make our way downstairs and move into the large open plan lounge. Jasper seems to sense that I am little tense and would rather be in my room and instead of sitting us down he stands near the far corner and I stand next to him, my hand still loosely in his. Within a few minutes his family enter the house at a pace that is slightly faster than human. Straight away I can tell by their faces that they are worried or upset about something and by the fact that Jasper tenses beside me I know that he can see it in their expressions too. The fact that Jasper does not start interrogating them at vampire speed in a volume I can't hear immediately endears him to me a little more. I hate being kept in the dark and not being told what's going on. Instead, his posture straightens even more and he steps forward just slightly.

"What's going on guys? Has something happened?" He asks

"You tell us brother, my little talent is going off like crazy" Peter responds his voice tense, Charlotte standing slightly behind him

"I don't know what you are talking about Peter, if you know something or you sense danger then you need to tell us"

"Me tell you, that's rich!" Peter snarls back, I am getting a little worried now, the tension seems to be rising and emotions are more clear on everyone's face and they are seem either upset or angry; mostly angry. I step closer to Jasper and he seems to take that as a cue. He uses the hand holding mine to tug me closer and gently pulls me to stand slightly behind him, he then drops my hand and instead moves his arm to lay it across the front of my body that is still visible and rest his hand on my hip, keeping me close.

"Spit it out Peter, your making me twitchy!" Jasper snaps, but it is not Peter who responds,

"You are what is going on Jasper! You're leaving us!" Alice screeches. I wince at the volume and at the way in which our news is being announced, I had hoped we could tell them in our own way. I hadn't thought that Alice would be able to see our decision – I thought I made her gift hazy. As I think that, I speak without meaning to,

"How do you know that? I thought your gift... I mean I didn't think that... Well..." I stutter, the anger on Alice's face intimidating me

"Didn't think me gift worked on you? Well no it doesn't but it does work on Jasper and seen as you refuse to accept him as a mate whatever blocks you from me does not block him" She acidly informs me,

"I don't understand" I look at Jasper who sighs and goes to speak but Carlisle beats him to it

"In mated pairs gifts tend to complement and protect each other. We suspect you are a shield therefore if you and Jasper were properly bonded then in all likelihood you would instinctively shield Jasper as well and then neither Alice nor Edwards gifts would work properly on him. As it stands however your gift does not protect Jasper and therefore when he made the decision to leave us Alice saw it and we then felt it best to return immediately." Carlisle somehow manages to look grave, concerned and superior all at the same time and I find myself getting a little angry – I know they must be upset that Jasper will be leaving but I do not understand why they feel everything has to be a big family matter. Surely me and Jasper should be about us not the whole damn coven! I hate the way everyone in this family seems to think they have a say and role in everyone's lives, like we should take their feelings and what they want into consideration! How fucking dare they?! Jasper looks at me and I can tell he has felt my growing anger and frustration, I can see in his eyes that he wants to make it better and I can see his worry that things are about to go bad but seconds past and I don't feel any calming wave coming from him. I realise that he has chosen to respect my feelings and not try to interfere or force me to calm down and my respect for him grows in that instant. Despite my anger I give me a small smile and try to send him my appreciation, by the small glimmer of a smile he gives me in return I can tell that he understands what I am trying to say.

Jasper POV

I have realised that mine and Bella's relationship will be a series of small victories and moments. We've had the most difficult of beginnings and while I understand that and the fact that Bella's reluctance and mistrust is all my fault I also know that if we are to have our happy ending it is going to be an uphill struggle and it will take time and hard work. It is not simply going to work just because we are mates; it is more complicated than that. And as I feel her send me appreciation, first for not speaking in vamp speed and leaving her out and second for not forcing calm upon her, I realise that it will be small moments of getting to know each other and small moments of bonding that will grow and develop until maybe, just maybe, we can have a happy ending. Unfortunately our moment is ruined by my sister whose anger, outrage and disbelief is threatening to overwhelm me.

"Jasper, do you mind not mooning over a girl who doesn't give a shit about you and start explaining why you are intending to abandon the family who has done nothing but love and support you?!" distain and fury drips from Alice's word and Edward hovers just behind her; he is less angry but clearly concerned about her going against me in the way she is. Before I answer Alice I take a second to quickly glance at the rest of my family and note their expressions and feelings. Rosalie, Emmett and Esme are confused and hurt but not angry, their expressions showing no sign of rage or judgement just confusion. Carlisle, Edward and Charlotte are angry and frustrated but also concerned. Peter and Alice are my biggest worry, they have jumped straight into anger, judgement, resentment and frustration and I wonder if Bella was right about some of my family – I wonder if some of what they are feeling comes from their own feelings and wishes. Alice and Peter were always very vocal about their assumptions and hopes when it came to my future mate. Alice assumed that she would be best friends with my mate; that she would be able to guide her, dress her and be closer than anyone else to her. Alice and Rosalie love each other as family but they are not well suited to being best friends and can sometimes clash, as a result Alice has ached for a best friend and it is no secret that she had hoped and indeed assumed that Bella would fill that hole. Alice can be a bit manipulative and a bit of a bully – she doesn't mean to be, but her bouncy forceful personality and her gift means that she nearly always gets her way. It occurs to me now that she must be angry and frustrated at Bella, not only for her rejection of me but also for her rejection of Alice and the friendship she offered. I remember the time when Bella questioned the family about whether or not they agreed with the taking of her and how firmly and completely Bella had rejected and argued against Alice and her beliefs; I wonder if Alice is holding a little bit of a grudge. Peter on the other hand has always wanted the best for me and has always been loyal but he also works on instinct and his gift. To his mind Bella is my mate and I am hers, he feels that she should see the facts and accept them, he has never spent any real time around humans so can't really understand her feelings and I also wonder if he is a little hurt by her rejection of him; I am incredibly close to Charlotte and I think he assumed he would have the same kind of relationship with Bella but not only did she reject him but for some reason Bella seems to have more of a problem with Peter than everyone else and I am guessing he has realised this.

Assessment of my family out of the way and I turn my eyes back to Alice,

"You want to reign in the anger and judgement there Alice so that I can let the whole family know what my mate and I have decided?" I deliberately leave out the word 'explain'. I do not like the suggestion that I need to explain myself; I am not a child and any decision me and Bella make is essentially our decision and no one else. Carlisle seems to sense the need to defuse tension,

"Of course son, we would all like to hear what you and Bella have decided" Alice and Peter both roll their eyes and look even more irritated but as everyone stays quiet I decide to speak.

"Bella and I have talked everything through and we going to properly try and be a couple, to try and get to know each other and build our bond. However in order to truly build our relationship and most importantly our trust in each other we both feel that we need to focus entirely on each other and not worry about anyone or anything else. _We_ have therefore decided to leave the family and travel on our own for a while. This decision has nothing to do with any of you or how I feel about you – you are my family and I love you all but me and Bella need to focus on each other. Trying to build a new mate bond in already complicated circumstances amongst a busy family all of whom want to help is too much pressure. I know none of you mean to put pressure upon us but trying to create new familial relationships, maintain family time and build a new relationship is just too much. If Bella and I have a hope in being together then our number one priority has to be each other. I love you and thank you for your love and support but we need to do this and I hope you can all understand this." They are all surprisingly quiet during my little speech, although I can tell that both Alice and Peter wanted to interrupt on more than one occasion but thankfully their mates managed to encourage them to wait; Char has a tight grip on Peter's hand while Edward stands behind Alice with a firm grip on her shoulders.

I am not surprised when Rose is the first to speak, nor am I am surprised by the understanding and acceptance that flows from her. Out of everyone she has been the most sympathetic to Bella and it does not surprise me that she is the first to accept and embrace our decision,

"That makes sense Jasper, there's a lot of people in this house and while we all mean well it must be like living under a microscope!" she says lightly, clearly trying to lighten the tension in the room – it doesn't work but I appreciate her attempt!

"Yeah, Rose is right, plus it will be good for the two of you to take some time out, get to know each other and have some privacy. That's what we did when we first mated and it was great. Hey, maybe you guys can drop us a text now and then and lets us know how things are? Maybe take some pics of your adventures?" Emmett, comes to stand next to his mate

"Definitely Emmett, maybe you can recommend some places we could go see?" I am surprised that Bella choses to answer Emmett for us but am also pleased, Emmett and Rose's acceptance has pleased Bella to the point that she is willing to maintain contact with them; I recognise the significance of this.

Esme speaks up next and by the way in which Carlisle stands next to her and gives me and Bella a small smile; I can tell that he agrees with her,

"I will miss you but if you feel that this is what is best for you then I support your decision" I nod in thanks to both of them, before I can say anything though, Alice manages to shake Edward loose and stalks towards us, anger radiating from her body,

"I can't believe this crap! 'Our decision'?! 'We have decided'?! That's a load of shit and we all know it Jazz! She is demanded you leave your family, she is deliberately isolating you and you are just letting her do it!" She screeches, pointing a small finger at Bella. I growl low at her, not liking how close she now is to my mate and not liking her attitude.

"Back off Alice" I growl

"Back off?! Back off?! I have done nothing but love and support you and have tried so hard to be friendly and understanding towards that bitter bitch" I roar at her cutting her off mid-stream whilst pushing Bella more firmly behind me.

"Edward get control over your mate before I do it for you" I snarl, Edward immediately leaps forward and pulls Alice back,

"Why should Alice back off Major? Because you don't like hearing the truth? Because it is the truth isn't it? She is using your guilt against you to force you to leave your family. She is manipulating you, it is cruel and wrong Jazz, you know it." Peter states in a cold clipped tone.

"That's not true!' Bella cries out indignantly 'I am not trying to hurt Jasper and I am not trying to manipulate him. I want to try and work things out but I can't do that here!"

"Why not?' Peter demands 'What is so bad about here? There is space, family support, friendships."

"NO!' Bella screams now embracing anger "There is none of those things. You are all Jasper's friends and family and you think you support and love him and us but you don't. You all just stand around impatiently waiting for me to get over what you did to me and fall in line, be a good little mate. But none of you give a shit about me or what I feel and none of seem to understand that you all did something wrong in helping Jasper take me. You all think you are 100% in the right! Plus you all just assume I will be your friend or sister or daughter, but did any of you think to ask me what I wanted? I don't what to be friends, I don't need new family and I certainly can't build any of those relationships and build my relationship with Jasper at the same time!"

Her anger is glorious! She has stepped out from behind me and stands in the centre of the room as she rages. While I am hurting at her obvious pain I am proud of her for standing up for herself. I can tell that everyone is shocked by what she has said, none of them has thought about it like that before and I can tell that some of them feel guilty now. Peter is the first to shake off his shock and his anger his overwhelming and I can tell his beast is fighting to the surface, his outrage at being spoken to like that by a human stoking his fury. He roars, shaking the house with the volume, Bella covers her ears and closes her eyes as she winces and before anyone can move Peter has lunged at her. I react purely on instinct, the Major coming to the front to take out the threat to our mate. I catch him just before he can touch Bella and hurl him through nearest wall. I leap through the hole after him, brick and plaster dust settling on my hair and clothes. I stand over him; the room is silent except for my low growls.

I look down on him

All I can see is a threat

There can be no threat to my mate.

**Next chapter Sunday!**

**Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**As promised an update!**

**As always none of these characters belong to me I am just playing with Jasper….**

Chapter 9: A single touch can change the world

Major POV

As the Lieutenant lunged towards our mate I felt Jasper instinctively retreat and allow me to the front. He did so willingly. Whenever Jasper has needed to unleash the fiercest of our instincts, whenever he has had to become the kind of vampire legends are made of he has always allowed me to take over. I am anger, vengeance, pain and strategy all rolled into one deadly package. I can say honestly and without any boasting that I am the most dangerous creature on the planet, I could ravage and destroy everything in my path and there is nothing on the earth that could stop me – not even the Volturi or the Romanians would dare cross me.

One thing has always been consistent when it comes to my part of the Jasper-personality – I am unstoppable. Anything I set out to achieve, I do so. Completely and Utterly. Right now Peter is my target. It matters not to me that he has been my right-hand man and friend, brother even, all these years. None of that matters any more. He has tried to attack my mate. My mate is human, a fierce and formidable human no doubt – I can sense that in her – but a human none the less. She would never survive an encounter with an enraged vampire; she has no way of defending herself. I do not care what motivated Peter; I do not care why he acted or how he feels. He attacked my mate, if I hadn't have intercepted him he would have injured or even killed my only reason for existing. He has proven himself to be a threat and all threats to my beautiful mate must be removed.

Bella POV

Everything is silent except for a constant low growl coming from Jasper. At Peters roar I had closed my eyes and covered my ears on instinct, my entire body trembling in fear. When I opened my eyes it took me a moment to adjust as dust filled the air and now as the dust has clear I see Peter lying prone on the floor, he seems paralysed in fear. Everyone else likewise has looks of pure fear and horror painted across their faces; Charlotte looks anguished but seems unwilling or simply unable to get closer to her mate. In the ruins of what was once Carlisle's office Jasper stands over Peter. Dust and tiny fragments of brick and plaster cover him in a fine layer. His knees are bent slightly and every part of him seems to vibrate with power and raw anger. I turn slightly so I can see his face better and I am shocked by what I see, it is like a different person. No that is wrong. I can still see Jasper but now there is another element to him, something or someone that is pure force – a warrior. Jasper stands over Peter and suddenly I understand what has happened. Peter tried to attack me and Jasper stopped him. Based on the ruins of the room he is in and by the looks on everyone's faces he threw Peter and then or possibly simultaneously unleashed his power, he has crippled everyone with fear so they can't stop him. He was protecting me and now with utter clarity I realise that if nothing else I am safe with Jasper – there is nothing on the planet that could harm me, not while Jasper is around.

I am shocked by this sudden realisation but then also shocked that I can feel shock. Shouldn't I be cowering in fear too? I quickly check my emotions and I realise that I am feeling many things including some fear but that the fear I real is what remains from Peter roaring at me, I am not actually afraid of Jasper. I look back him as I realise this and see him move quick as lighting. His hand is around Peter's throat and the other hand is at Peter's shoulder. He is going to kill him. I may not like Peter and I may want to get away from him and the rest of this family as quick as possible but I do not want Jasper to kill his brother, he would feel pain eventually for his actions and I realise that the idea of Jasper being in pain feels wrong to me, it makes me want to do anything I can to prevent it from happening.

Without my control my legs start to move and before I realise it, I am next to Jasper. I can vaguely hear fear-strained quiet cries coming from the others in the room warning me to stay back but I ignore them. Something inside me wants me to go to Jasper and holding on tightly to my strength and resolve I give into that want. When I am right next to Jasper who is now crouched in front of me I kneel next to him and reach out a hand to touch his shoulder.

Major POV

My senses tell me that my mate is near and seconds later I feel her touch. Her hand lightly touches my shoulder. I am shocked and so is Jasper, our mate is willingly reaching out to us. I do not let go of my traitorous lieutenant but I turn to look her in the eyes.

"Don't" she whispers, I raise an eyebrow at her wanting to know why she would defend someone I know she dislikes intensely.

"You would eventually feel pain at killing him and I do not want that for you" she says and I want to shout out with victory, she cares! At least on some level she cares! I smile at her and smile wider when she blushes lightly. I turn back to Peter.

"You owe her your life" I state plainly before quickly ripping off his arm and tossing it to one side. Bella gasps in shock at my actions and quickly stands and steps back slightly. I can feel Jasper's panic that I may have scared her away but she needs to know what we are like – what we are truly like.

"Do not be afraid my mate. I spared his life because you wished me too but he tried to attack you and I could not allow that to go unpunished. I am the Major, I know Jasper has not fully explained everything to you and now is not the time to do so. For now know that I am the beast within Jasper, the embodiment of his instincts and warrior skill that is unleashed when necessary. I am pure vampire, no softness but you are never at risk where I am concerned. You are my mate just as you are Jaspers".

Bella seems lost in thought for a moment before she nods. She seems to be trying to adapt and accept the new world she is in. I am sure she will have questions at a later point but for right now she seems to accept what I am saying and I can sense that she does not fear me at this moment,

" I need your permission for something my mate" I state

"For what?" she asks warily

"I need some time and contact with you to decompress. My instincts are still screaming at me to fight and destroy the threats to you, the only way I know to overcome them to be alone with you. You will be safe and I will not cross any lines you do not give me permission to cross but I need this. I need to check you over and I need the calm of being near you." I can tell she is unsure but she nods anyway. Before she can change her mind I grab her swiftly in my arms and rush her to her room, realising the Cullens from my power only once we leave the room. As I put her down in the centre of her room I hear Carlisle ushering everyone out of the house. I lock the door and turn to face my mate who is standing in the centre of the room looking very pale, I go to move towards her but she lifts her hand up to stop me and against every instinct I have I stop in my tracks.

Bella POV

I feel completely disorientated. I was in the study and now I am in my room and yet only seconds passed. I realise Jasper or the Major as he is at the moment must have moved me at vamp-speed. He goes to move towards me and I put my hand up,

"No please. Just give me a moment" He stops but I can see he doesn't want to; every muscle in his body is tensed. I take a few deep breathes and then look at him again, I nod

"Ok,' I say in a shaky voice, I am nervous about what will happen next 'You can do whatever you need to do" He does not need to be told twice and is front of me instantly.

He lightly touches my hair,

"It is ok my mate, relax." He says. He starts to lightly run his hands all over my body. He starts at the top of my hair and then touches me everywhere. He touches face, my neck, my shoulders, my arms, my elbows. He runs her hands over every finger; he traces the plains of my back and runs them lightly over my breasts and belly. There is nothing sexual about his touches, his eyes are intense and focused. He is entirely entranced by his task and seems to be on some sort of mission. He appears to be examining me and then I quickly remember what he said downstairs about checking me and it occurs to me that that is what he is doing; he is checking I am ok. He is looking for any indication at all that I have been harmed. Once he has finished checking me he stands up from kneeling down to check my legs and feet and steps impossibly closer to me. My body now lightly touches his and I am hyper aware of how small I am compared to him and hyper aware of how close I am to him. For the first time I allow myself to feel attraction, it has always been there if I am honest. He is a gorgeous and sexy man but I have only ever thought it in detached unemotional terms but now being this close to him and after this dangerous and powerful man has spent ages careful checking to make sure I am ok I can't help but be attracted to him. I feel faint yearning and as his eyes meet mine and I see a raw devotion and dedication shining in them I can't help but start to long for him.

Slowly, almost as if to avoid spooking me, he lifts his hands up to cradle my face and his left hand gently brushes my hair away from my neck. He gently tips my head back lightly and keeping his eyes locked on mine – begging me with his eyes to trust him – he leans down further and further until his face is buried in my neck. I feel him breathe me in and then sigh deeply. Suddenly a gentle lick makes me jump and makes gentle shushing noises at me until I relax again. Only when he can feel the tension leave my body does he begin to place little licks all over my neck. The intimacy of this moment threatens to overwhelm me. I shakily lift my arms until I am holding on to his shoulder tightly. I cannot tell if I am holding on to keep him close or if I am holding on to keep myself steady or if I am holding on to prepare myself to fight him off if this goes further than I can handle.

After long moments pass, he presses a gentle kiss to my throat and then lifts his head to look me in the eyes again.

"Jasper is going to come back now my mate" he says simply and then he retreats and Jasper is again the more dominant persona, although now I know the traits of the Major I can seem him within Jasper still.

Jasper POV

The Major finally retreats and lets me take over once more.

I look at Bella in wonder and can do only one thing.

"Thank you" I say.

**Please review! I would love to know what you think of the first Major and Bella moments. I would also like to hear what you think about the moments of intimacy here.**

**Also please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes. I wanted to get this to you on time and I have no beta!**

**Next time:**

**A talk between Bella and Jasper**

**A talk between Jasper and Peter**

**Bella and Jasper prepare to leave. **


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